My Sea to Your Shore
by Darkira
Summary: A bit of Valentine's Slash. My beta called it melancholy which might be quite accurate. But it's cute too. Trust me. The pairing is a bit different...sort of. Rated M just to be sure, AU/AH/Slash


**Disclaimer and all that:** This is my story, the characters aren't mine though. They belong to S.M.

I'm writing this as a Valentine's present for everyone who is reading my stuffs. I know I've been awfully quiet writing-wise lately but I have a valid excuse, severe depression. So I write when it comes to me and when it doesn't, I won't even try because it does nothing for my mood.

Anyway, thought I'd write something and this isn't as good as I'd like it to be but hey...at least it's something, right?

The next chapter of Brand New Start is half way done and I'll have it betaed as soon as it is done, but I can't promise you a date, sorry about that.

Once again, thanks to my beta mycrookedsmile who speed-read this through to correct my messy grammar if nothing else this time... ^^

And plenty of hugs and kisses to my girls, you know who you are. The fact that you care means the world to me. *huggles the lot of ya*

On to the story...

-xxXxx-

My Sea to Your Shore

I was driving home in a minor blizzard. It was Sunday, Valentine's Day, and I was still ten minutes from home. The clock on the dashboard was being cruel and honest, ten in the evening. I cursed under my breath. What on earth had possessed me to study business economics and computers; what on earth had I thought when I decided to become an self-employed entrepreneur? More than anything I wanted to know was, why the fuck would I go fix someone's computer on a Sunday, especially February 14th?

I cursed again when the car swerved in the snow and I nearly lost control of it. At the very least I needed to calm down in order to get home. Not that there was much to go home to. I had started my business in the beginning of last summer and after that it had been constant working. I had neglected my boyfriend, my family, my friends...everything. To a point they did understand, each of them. It just seemed like it took so much more than I had ever imagined it would to make something of myself.

Neglecting Jasper was never my intention. We had been officially together for over three years and this would be our fourth Valentine's Day. Now, what made me especially nervous about coming home could be summed up with one word: 'tradition'.

It was a huge deal in his family, all family traditions, and Valentine's Day was one of ours, mine and Jasper's. The first tradition of our own, and the one I organized every year. I made dinner, something Jasper loved; I came up with something simple but romantic. Usually we stayed home and did something together, anything from watching a movie to just laying in the bath and talking until we ran out of things to talk about. The night always ended in bed, quite naturally.

This year... I had told Jasper that I'd try but that there were no promises. He knew I was beyond busy and that I had had some important clients in the last few weeks. My business was finally good, I was making money and if things would keep progressing as they had been, I could hire my friend Seth to work for me part time soon.

Having been lost in my thoughts while driving, I suddenly realized I was in front of our house. It was dark. If Jasper was home, his car was in the garage, and since it had been snowing there was no way to tell if his SUV was inside or not. Looking at the house I was suddenly certain it would be empty. He wouldn't be there.

I leaned my forehead on the steering wheel and sighed. I went back in time, to the first time I laid my eyes on him and I couldn't help but smile despite the knowledge he was most likely gone from my life now.

_I was working as a trainee in a little electronics store in Forks. They were the only place I could go if I wanted to train in my home town. I had secured the position as soon as I got word that I was accepted into the school I would study for the next four years in. I was going on my third year, and the mandatory training period was taking most of my time. Not that I complained, it was perfect. The atmosphere was relaxed, I knew the owner, I knew the clients and I was pretty much just repairing computers every day. Suited me just fine._

_That day, a week or so into my training, I got called into the front of the shop by the manager, Mr. Newton._

"_Paul! Could you come here for a moment?" he called and I managed to get up from the mess of computer parts on the back room floor. I was trying to put together a working computer for some secondary stuff in the shop from the parts we had laying around._

"_Yes?" I asked, wiping my dusty hands to the back of my jeans as I got to the front of the shop._

"_Paul, this is Jasper Whitlock, he moved to town a week or so back and now he has some problems with his computer, can you take a look?" Mr Newton asked me and gestured towards a laptop case on the counter and to a tall blonde guy who was looking at the cellphones in the display at the side of the front room._

_As I took in his tall form, probably 6'4" and lanky, yet filling his jeans perfectly, I swallowed hard. See, I knew I liked men more than women, but in a small town like Forks, especially in the reservation where I lived, there weren't that many gay people around. At least I didn't know more than two others, both female. There weren't many males I found interesting around here, let alone ones that looked like him._

_Jasper's hair was a mess of blonde curls around his head and when he turned around, I saw his eyes, apple green and sparkling as he looked at me expectantly. _

"_Sorry, I need a new cell too so..." he said and walked to the front desk, reaching his hand to shake mine._

"_Oh, we can look into that too in a moment," I smiled at him and his dimples appeared, dazing me completely._

"_Sure, let's see..." he said and opened the laptop case and fished the computer out, explaining the problem to me._

_I took a look, did my magic and had the computer up and running in no time._

"_That's...awesome. I can hardly use it for the work stuff I need it for and...just wow..." Jasper grinned and I couldn't help but to grin back._

_We chatted a bit, I learned that he was working at the local library while funding his studies on something that sounded very complicated and had to do with history. He was a few years older than me and I got the feeling that he was interested in me. Oh and I sold him a good cellphone, which made Mr. Newton really happy._

_The next time I bumped into him was at the library. I swear I didn't go there to meet him... Okay, might be telling half-truths there... We chatted a bit, went to get a coffee, found out we liked the same things and decided to hang out. After a few weeks and dozen dates we were pretty much boyfriends and inseparable._

_The thing about Jasper was, he balanced me perfectly. Where I'm hotheaded, aggressive (not physically, mind you), introverted and smile very rarely, he is calm, collected, kind and his smile lights up the whole room. Jasper was Yin to my Yang or the other way around. The other side to my coin. _

I snapped out of my reminiscence by the wind howling so loud it almost shook the car a bit. Better get inside. I took my bag and walked towards the house, leaving the car in the middle of the driveway where it would be easiest to dig out fro the snow in the morning when I'd need it again.

My steps were heavy as I unlocked the door and locked it again behind myself. The sound of paws on the floor made me smile. I removed my shoes and hung my jacket as I watched the owner of the paws appear from the living room.

"Hey sweetie...are you all alone in here?" My dog Sam, a lovely little mutt, was half deaf, so now that he didn't know what time I'd get home, he usually missed the sound of my car. In this weather he was probably either in front of the fireplace or next to the radiator in the kitchen. Poor old thing got cold so easily nowadays.

"What's that?" I asked him and turned his collar around. There was a little note attached to his name tag.

"_There's dinner in the fridge, you better eat as I cooked for you. I might be asleep so try not to be too loud."_

"So daddy's mad at me, eh? Not your fault little one..." I patted Sam and went to the kitchen to toss the note into the bin and heated the food, homemade lasagna which was my favorite, in the microwave.

I had fucked up. Seriously. He had made my favorite dish for dinner and I hadn't been there. On Valentine's Day. I ate as much as I could before I had to give the rest to Sam who was oh so happy about it.

"Happy Valentine's, buddy." I petted him and walked up the stairs as quietly as possible.

Okay, bathroom first. I needed a shower to relax a bit. I was so...sad.

When I opened the bathroom door my mood sank to the tiled floor. There were unlit candles on every possible surface and I could see that there was a little bag of rose petals next to the tub, waiting for it to be filled with water.

Jasper had done my work tonight. Changed the tradition that had always been my thing to do for him and not the other way around. He had done all this and I had been away. Suddenly I felt like the biggest bastard in the world.

I tossed my shirts to the hamper and then I just slid down the wall, ending up on the floor, my jeans clad knees pulled to my chest and my forehead on resting on my knees. Classic 'pity me'-pose, but I didn't care.

One thing about me is that I never cry. I didn't cry when my mother died a few years ago. I didn't cry as a kid when my cat died. Nothing seemed to shake me, but now I was in tears, knowing I had fucked up and... I couldn't lose Jasper. I just...couldn't.

I was so wrapped up in myself that I didn't notice him entering the bathroom until his bare feet were suddenly next to mine.

"Paul..." he said and I raised my hand.

"Don't...I know...I fucked up..." I couldn't even look at him, "I love you and I did this to you...on the most important day we have except our anniversary..."

He dropped to his knees and suddenly his arms were surrounding me.

"Paul, love, shut up and listen to me, okay?" he said in a firm tone, the gentleness of it surprising me.

"Okay..." I mumbled but couldn't look at him, feeling so ashamed still.

"I know how hard you've worked. I can't pretend that I haven't missed you, missed us, but I understand. I know how important your business is to you and I'm so damn proud of you... How could I be mad at you for this?"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Raising my eyes I looked at him in awe.

"But...the dinner...this.." I gestured around the bathroom, "you did all this for us and it's my job and I was somewhere else, working on a Sunday and Valentines' Day..."

His finger placed over my lips stopped me from speaking more.

"Paul, I love you. I know you better than you know yourself. I know you love me but you get lost in your work; I know you're doing it for us. This, today, this is something that you should have done but I understand completely why you couldn't. It was an important client and you can't afford to lose anyone at this point. Me, I'm not something you can lose, you know that, right?" he asked . He smiled at me, his dimples showing in all their glory and all I could see was love in his eyes.

"What the hell did I ever do to deserve you?" I asked and he chuckled.

"Let's see...first you repaired my computer. Then you sold me a cell that still works after four years...you're also slightly nerdy," he smirked, he had a thing for nerds and we both knew it, "you have the most gorgeous russet skin I want to lick all over...oh and when you grin at me, my heart still flutters after all this time."

Yes, he definitely earned himself a grin for that. Suddenly I was pulled to him, his lips were attached to mine and he wasn't the only one with the fluttery feeling in the pit of his stomach. God I loved him!

After some heavy making out we needed to breathe and he got up, pulling me with him.

"Okay, you go find your iPod for music and I'll run the bath, okay?" Jasper asked and I nodded, smiling at him. "You also look drop dead gorgeous in just your jeans and smiling like that," he pointed out and made me grin which earned me an eye roll because I made his fluttery feeling come back, apparently.

It was funny, I didn't smile or grin this much normally. I was more of a serious person and he knew it. It must have been obvious to him how damn happy I was that he wasn't mad at me, against all odds. Anyone else would have been just...insanely mad and probably would have packed a bag and left me already.

As I walked downstairs to get my iPod from the living room I lit the fireplace just for the sake of it. Sam hopped down from his chair and came to lay down on the rug in front of the fire.

I realized now how much I had neglected our relationship. For months and months, over half a year I had been barely there. Yet he still loved me and wanted me. I was one lucky SOB, wasn't I?

Taking two steps at a time I got back to the bathroom where Jasper was already sitting in the tub, waiting for me to put the music on and join him. His expression was lazy in the warm water but his eyes were hungry as he took in the sight of me stripping my jeans and boxers.

I clicked the music on before getting into the tub and sitting between his legs. Leaning into his chest I cherished everything about the situation. The hard planes of his muscles against my back, the warmth of the water and how the rose petals looked when they clung to my darker skin as I raised my arm from the water. The music was soothing too, Jasper hummed to my ear and I relaxed in his arms.

We lay there without saying a word until the water was getting too cool to be comfortable any longer. When we got up, we dried each other in comfortable fluffy towels and couldn't help but smile at each other.

I took his hand, and to his surprise I pulled him with me down the stairs and not into the bedroom. He grinned when he heard the crackling of the fire and stood there with a smile on his lips, waiting for me to lay a blanket in front of the fireplace.

"Sam, chair," he said quietly and gestured with his hand. The dog looked at him and sighed heartbreakingly but obeyed him. We both knew Sam hadn't heard him but knew the gesture. Yeah, the poor boy was getting old now.

"I hope he's here so that we can annoy him by shooing him away from the warmth next Valentine's too..." Jasper murmured and I walked to him, just hugging him close.

Even though Sam was my dog, Jasper loved him and knew what he meant to me, so his words touched me deeply. But being me, I couldn't really say it, so I just held him close for a moment.

When I pulled away from him again, I tugged him down to the blanket and we just lay there for a moment, embracing each other in front of the fire without saying a word. The room was dark and I watched the light dance against his milky skin and smiled a bit.

"What?" Jasper asked with a whisper but he smiled too.

"Just enjoying the contrast..." I said and he chuckled softly, we were full of those. From my black hair and darker skin to his blonde hair and milky skin to the differences in our characters.

"My sea to your shore..." he said, quoting a song that was important to him from the beginning of our relationship when things were still uncertain.

"Thank you." I whispered to his neck and he hummed, he didn't need explanations.

Gradually the embrace changed. Our hands moved slowly on each other's skin and we kissed sensually every now and then, our lips moving to every surface we could reach. I felt loved and cherished when Jasper finally rolled us so that he was hovering above me.

His smile was loving. "Should we get to bed?" he asked and I just nodded. As soon as we got up, Sam jumped from the chair and went to lie down on the blanket. We decided to let him enjoy his night too.

When we got to the bedroom and lay down on the bed, I took Jasper's hand and looked at him.

"I'm sorry, for forgetting how wonderful you are and what I have with you." My tone was sincere and I saw Jasper's eyes light up. I knew then that he didn't think I would apologize like this. I wasn't good at admitting my errors out loud and he knew that too well.

"I forgive you.." he murmured, leaning in to kiss me softly, "and yes, I am wonderful..." the smile was evident in his tone.

We began to kiss again, softly at first, our fingers mapping the familiar territories we knew so well. Every touch lit a little fire on my skin, every whispered word made me feel just a little bit more of his love.

When he hovered over me again, rolling his hips against mine and causing all that friction between us, I leaned up to nip at his neck and made him groan softly.

Reaching to grab his ass with both hands I pushed him down more firmly against me and soon we both were gasping for air. The electricity buzzed around us, the need we still had for each other stronger than ever. We were reconnecting, doing this the proper way instead of the hasty releases we had taken when we could get them for the few last months.

"Jasper, make love to me.." I whispered to him and he kissed me deeply before preparing me for his love.

When we became one, when he moved within me and made me feel everything all at once, I heard the music drifting to the bedroom from the bathroom door. We had left it on; I smiled at the song, reaching my hands to Jasper's hips to still his movements.

"Listen..." I whispered and he turned his head slightly.

A lovely smile lit his features when he turned to look at me. He mouthed the words to me and started moving again.

"_Let me surround you, my sea to your shore, let me be the calm you seek..." _

He knew how to love me like nobody else did, but the physical side wasn't the thing that made me explode and take him with me to the sweet oblivion in the end.

It was the words whispered in my ear in the moment of ecstasy, his husky voice laced with his Southern accent overrode my body's responses and I arched against him, having never felt so connected to anyone in my life.

"I adore you, my love."

-xxXxx-


End file.
